The Art of Happiness in Unhappy Times
This week I met with a close friend of mine, who is a Psychiatrist and he always greets me with " you call this living Matt?" I laugh and respond with " yes, it sucks doesn't it, but isn't it great?"
It got me thinking as I drove home late that night, there is a message in this, to share with others what I have learnt in the 20 or so years of counselling, coaching and mentoring people.
I was asked once at a course last year "what is your purpose in life?" A bit confronting as this was a group I didn't know at all, nor had I thought about preparing for such a question.
I fumbled my response out, "to help people", but that didn't cut it.....I was challenged..... "isnt it to learn how to live with more happiness and help others do the same?" They were right...
That's what leads me to blog about happiness at work and home and hopefully you will find something that helps you or others.
"I am the author of every next moment" is my mantra.
Why? It helps me focus my thoughts, speech and behaviour at both work and play. It helps me on the happiness journey... and that it is folks... some destinations are just not enjoyable, but I learn from them, sometimes it take me years to figure it out.
Maybe I'm a slow learner, but the teacher presents when the student is ready as the saying goes.
So this week, what the bleep is there to be happy about?????
Here are some things I dug up in the news media:
World poverty, war, famine, degradation of human rights, disease, suffering, homelessness, joblessness, broken families, abuse, 1 in 5 suffer from a mental illness, chronic disease, government corruption, dictatorships, employer layoffs, and so on, and so on.... aint it awfull, aint it awful. Well yes it is. Don't keep awfulizing.
I challenge you accept these four truths:
There is heaps of stuff written on happiness, world conferences, thousands of self help books, courses etc. Just Google it, megalinks everywhere....
The best and most current research that I suggest you go to is the website of University of Pennsylvania and look up Authentic Happiness,Martin Seligman. I'm also a major fan of the HH Dalai Lama's teachings on happiness as they are timeless, evidence based and practical and have thousands of years of practiced techniques. His Holiness is always smiling, go figure... his country Tibet was run out by the Chinese Govt of the time.
Key messages are to practice:
generosity, compassion, kindness, forgiveness, tolerance, ethics, wisdom and concentration.
My message to you
I share this with you because I can't post everything on this topic, nor should I try.. so here go a few ideas....in no order of merit.....
"be optimistic, practice gratitude, buid intimacy, develop your personal strengths, let go, maintain a social/network, have a faith, practice mindfulness, maintain your health, take courage, change your mindset/attitude, practice being more adpatable/flexible, give up the need to control, give up trying to be perfect, go and volunteer, practice gift giving, go an travel, go and learn something new, make real love, get in touch with nature, find or create your meaning and purpose, let go of pride and be humble, that is let go of your ego.......make a choice to be happier and act on it daily, make it a habit, be thankful everyday.... we often create our own internal unhappiness...that my friend we have control over.
No victims, no excuses please, just survivors
Still want more,okay....
8 Steps Toward a More Satisfying Life
Want to lift your level of happiness? Here are some practical suggestions from University of California psychologist Sonja Lyubomirsky, based on research findings by her and others. Satisfaction (at least a temporary boost) cited in Time Magazine Time Magazine January 17, 2005.
1. Count your blessings.
One way to do this is with a “gratitude journal” in which you write down three to five things for which you are currently thankful—from the mundane (your peonies are in bloom) to the magnificent (a child’s first steps). Do this once a week, say, on Sunday night. Keep it fresh by varying your entries as much as possible.
2. Practice acts of kindness.
These should be both random (let that harried mum go ahead of you in the checkout line) and systematic (bring Sunday supper to an elderly neighbour). Being kind to others, whether friends or strangers, triggers a cascade of positive effects—it makes you feel generous and capable, gives you a greater sense of connection with others and wins you smiles, approval and reciprocated kindness—all happiness boosters.
3. Savor life’s joys.
Pay close attention to momentary pleasures and wonders. Focus on the sweetness of a ripe strawberry or the warmth of the sun when you step out from the shade. Some psychologists suggest taking “mental photographs” of pleasurable moments to review in less happy times.
4. Thank a mentor.
If there’s someone whom you owe a debt of gratitude for guiding you at one of life’s crossroads, don’t wait to express your appreciation—in detail and, if possible, in person.
5. Learn to forgive.
Let go of anger and resentment by writing a letter of forgiveness to a person who has hurt or wronged you. Inability to forgive is associated with persistent rumination or dwelling on revenge, while forgiving allows you to move on.
6. Invest time and energy in friends and family. Where you live, how much money you make, your job title and even your health have surprisingly small effects on your satisfaction with life. The biggest factor appears to be strong personal relationships.
7. Take care of your body.
Getting plenty of sleep, exercising, stretching, smiling and laughing can all enhance your mood in the short term. Practiced regularly, they can help make your daily life more satisfying.
8. Develop strategies for coping with stress and hardships.
There is no avoiding hard times. Religious faith has been shown to help people cope, but so do the secular beliefs enshrined in axioms like “This too shall pass” and “That which doesn’t kill me makes me stronger.” The trick is that you have to believe them.
Journey well in your happiness,
Matt Cartwright
Inspiring People, Inspiring Business, Inspiring Results
© Copyright 2008 -12
This week I met with a close friend of mine, who is a Psychiatrist and he always greets me with " you call this living Matt?" I laugh and respond with " yes, it sucks doesn't it, but isn't it great?"
It got me thinking as I drove home late that night, there is a message in this, to share with others what I have learnt in the 20 or so years of counselling, coaching and mentoring people.
I was asked once at a course last year "what is your purpose in life?" A bit confronting as this was a group I didn't know at all, nor had I thought about preparing for such a question.
I fumbled my response out, "to help people", but that didn't cut it.....I was challenged..... "isnt it to learn how to live with more happiness and help others do the same?" They were right...
That's what leads me to blog about happiness at work and home and hopefully you will find something that helps you or others.
"I am the author of every next moment" is my mantra.
Why? It helps me focus my thoughts, speech and behaviour at both work and play. It helps me on the happiness journey... and that it is folks... some destinations are just not enjoyable, but I learn from them, sometimes it take me years to figure it out.
Maybe I'm a slow learner, but the teacher presents when the student is ready as the saying goes.
So this week, what the bleep is there to be happy about?????
Here are some things I dug up in the news media:
World poverty, war, famine, degradation of human rights, disease, suffering, homelessness, joblessness, broken families, abuse, 1 in 5 suffer from a mental illness, chronic disease, government corruption, dictatorships, employer layoffs, and so on, and so on.... aint it awfull, aint it awful. Well yes it is. Don't keep awfulizing.
I challenge you accept these four truths:
- Suffering exists
- Suffering will continue to exist
- There are ways to combat it
- Practise ways that increase your resilience and happiness.
There is heaps of stuff written on happiness, world conferences, thousands of self help books, courses etc. Just Google it, megalinks everywhere....
The best and most current research that I suggest you go to is the website of University of Pennsylvania and look up Authentic Happiness,Martin Seligman. I'm also a major fan of the HH Dalai Lama's teachings on happiness as they are timeless, evidence based and practical and have thousands of years of practiced techniques. His Holiness is always smiling, go figure... his country Tibet was run out by the Chinese Govt of the time.
Key messages are to practice:
generosity, compassion, kindness, forgiveness, tolerance, ethics, wisdom and concentration.
My message to you
I share this with you because I can't post everything on this topic, nor should I try.. so here go a few ideas....in no order of merit.....
"be optimistic, practice gratitude, buid intimacy, develop your personal strengths, let go, maintain a social/network, have a faith, practice mindfulness, maintain your health, take courage, change your mindset/attitude, practice being more adpatable/flexible, give up the need to control, give up trying to be perfect, go and volunteer, practice gift giving, go an travel, go and learn something new, make real love, get in touch with nature, find or create your meaning and purpose, let go of pride and be humble, that is let go of your ego.......make a choice to be happier and act on it daily, make it a habit, be thankful everyday.... we often create our own internal unhappiness...that my friend we have control over.
No victims, no excuses please, just survivors
Still want more,okay....
8 Steps Toward a More Satisfying Life
Want to lift your level of happiness? Here are some practical suggestions from University of California psychologist Sonja Lyubomirsky, based on research findings by her and others. Satisfaction (at least a temporary boost) cited in Time Magazine Time Magazine January 17, 2005.
1. Count your blessings.
One way to do this is with a “gratitude journal” in which you write down three to five things for which you are currently thankful—from the mundane (your peonies are in bloom) to the magnificent (a child’s first steps). Do this once a week, say, on Sunday night. Keep it fresh by varying your entries as much as possible.
2. Practice acts of kindness.
These should be both random (let that harried mum go ahead of you in the checkout line) and systematic (bring Sunday supper to an elderly neighbour). Being kind to others, whether friends or strangers, triggers a cascade of positive effects—it makes you feel generous and capable, gives you a greater sense of connection with others and wins you smiles, approval and reciprocated kindness—all happiness boosters.
3. Savor life’s joys.
Pay close attention to momentary pleasures and wonders. Focus on the sweetness of a ripe strawberry or the warmth of the sun when you step out from the shade. Some psychologists suggest taking “mental photographs” of pleasurable moments to review in less happy times.
4. Thank a mentor.
If there’s someone whom you owe a debt of gratitude for guiding you at one of life’s crossroads, don’t wait to express your appreciation—in detail and, if possible, in person.
5. Learn to forgive.
Let go of anger and resentment by writing a letter of forgiveness to a person who has hurt or wronged you. Inability to forgive is associated with persistent rumination or dwelling on revenge, while forgiving allows you to move on.
6. Invest time and energy in friends and family. Where you live, how much money you make, your job title and even your health have surprisingly small effects on your satisfaction with life. The biggest factor appears to be strong personal relationships.
7. Take care of your body.
Getting plenty of sleep, exercising, stretching, smiling and laughing can all enhance your mood in the short term. Practiced regularly, they can help make your daily life more satisfying.
8. Develop strategies for coping with stress and hardships.
There is no avoiding hard times. Religious faith has been shown to help people cope, but so do the secular beliefs enshrined in axioms like “This too shall pass” and “That which doesn’t kill me makes me stronger.” The trick is that you have to believe them.
Journey well in your happiness,
Matt Cartwright
Inspiring People, Inspiring Business, Inspiring Results
© Copyright 2008 -12
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