Tackling the Elephant in the Room in 10 Quick Easy Steps
First principle, is not to shoot the elephant....that hurts and is unkind and morally wrong
Second principle, it takes courage and heavy lifting
Third principle, empower the group by holding them to account
Fourth principle, keep going
Okay its a common mistake not to address the elephant in the room.....I've been there and done that. I still see it being done by senior people who have influence and power.
I can't help myself, what a waste of time for everyone if we don't address it....Of course it needs to be done with sensitivity. Please share this with people who need help managing Elephants.
10 steps to help you... lets go!
Step 1. Ask permission to offer feedback.
Example: "Ok, I want to stop this meeting now and give you some input, I hope that is okay….I think the group would benefit from hearing my observations. . . is that OK?"
Step 2. Describe specifically what you’re observing
Example: "During the pre-prgram meetings I held with over half of you, the issue of some people not pulling their weight was mentioned by everyone as the most serious problem facing this team. We have been talking about team problems all morning and no one has mentioned this issue."
Step 3. Tell them about the direct impacts of their actions.
Example: "Since the issue of people not pulling their weight has not been mentioned, there's a good chance that these current discussions are not going to resolve your most serious team problem."
Step 4. Give the other person(s) an opportunity to explain.
Example: "You're telling me that this problem is not being discussed because it’s too sensitive and people are concerned about offending each other is that right?”
Step 5. Draw out ideas from the other person(s).
Example: "What do you think we could do to make it safe so that this issue can be discussed? What guidelines do we need to create to make it safe?”
Step 6. Offer specific suggestions for improvement only when necessary.
Example: "I think the guidelines you have come up with are excellent. I'd like to add a few ideas about how we can tackle this with sensitivity, they are only ideas."
Step 7. Summarise and express your support.
Example: "I want to thank you for being willing to tackle this tough issue, I appreciate your effort, thank you."
Step 8. Review.
Example: "I'm going to stop the meeting in about an hour and check with you to see if we are now tackling our real problems and if the guidelines we set are working."
Step 9. Reflect.
Reflect on the process of how you managed yourself, what did you learn about your faciliation, what might you change next time?
Step 10. Reward.
Give yourself some positive praise for tackling the Elephant in the room, that's your job as a facilitator, manager or leader.
Journey well,
Matt Cartwright
Inspiring People, Inspiring Business, Inspiring Results
© Copyright 2008 -12
First principle, is not to shoot the elephant....that hurts and is unkind and morally wrong
Second principle, it takes courage and heavy lifting
Third principle, empower the group by holding them to account
Fourth principle, keep going
Okay its a common mistake not to address the elephant in the room.....I've been there and done that. I still see it being done by senior people who have influence and power.
I can't help myself, what a waste of time for everyone if we don't address it....Of course it needs to be done with sensitivity. Please share this with people who need help managing Elephants.
10 steps to help you... lets go!
Step 1. Ask permission to offer feedback.
Example: "Ok, I want to stop this meeting now and give you some input, I hope that is okay….I think the group would benefit from hearing my observations. . . is that OK?"
Step 2. Describe specifically what you’re observing
Example: "During the pre-prgram meetings I held with over half of you, the issue of some people not pulling their weight was mentioned by everyone as the most serious problem facing this team. We have been talking about team problems all morning and no one has mentioned this issue."
Step 3. Tell them about the direct impacts of their actions.
Example: "Since the issue of people not pulling their weight has not been mentioned, there's a good chance that these current discussions are not going to resolve your most serious team problem."
Step 4. Give the other person(s) an opportunity to explain.
Example: "You're telling me that this problem is not being discussed because it’s too sensitive and people are concerned about offending each other is that right?”
Step 5. Draw out ideas from the other person(s).
Example: "What do you think we could do to make it safe so that this issue can be discussed? What guidelines do we need to create to make it safe?”
Step 6. Offer specific suggestions for improvement only when necessary.
Example: "I think the guidelines you have come up with are excellent. I'd like to add a few ideas about how we can tackle this with sensitivity, they are only ideas."
Step 7. Summarise and express your support.
Example: "I want to thank you for being willing to tackle this tough issue, I appreciate your effort, thank you."
Step 8. Review.
Example: "I'm going to stop the meeting in about an hour and check with you to see if we are now tackling our real problems and if the guidelines we set are working."
Step 9. Reflect.
Reflect on the process of how you managed yourself, what did you learn about your faciliation, what might you change next time?
Step 10. Reward.
Give yourself some positive praise for tackling the Elephant in the room, that's your job as a facilitator, manager or leader.
Journey well,
Matt Cartwright
Inspiring People, Inspiring Business, Inspiring Results
© Copyright 2008 -12
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