Self Awareness and Leadership: Have a look in the Mirror
I was with a long term client today. We had just finished a quick lunch. He was being head hunted by another firm which was what we were hoping would happen. His current company was sealing his potential.
I was thinking how fortunate he had been to be potentially moving to another more prestigious organization. He was keen to leave due to the CIO poor people skills.
A man got in the lift at the 25th floor. There I was confronted by a gruff man. It was the very person my client was talking about. One thing that struck me was the man had no idea what vibes he was giving off.
Whilst on his mobile phone, he was aggressive, using expletives and then went on criticizing his PA for his appointment scheduling. He finished the call, looked at my client (his colleague) and said, “God I work with some idiots in this place” enough said. Spooky…. I guess we had just spoken about him at lunch.
My observation was he had no idea what reactions he was giving off, nor did he seem to care.
So this is an easy blog today, because what I know about many leaders especially the ones that go and have 360 degree assessment, is that their drive, direction and self-belief is high, but their self-awareness is often low.
You guessed it. Many suffer from a lack of self-awareness. If this is you or you’re not sure, go start looking in the mirror more often. Go to the bathroom really look hard at yourself, and say “is the organistional leader that people aspire to, or even want to follow?”
Okay the narcissist or psychopath will always say “yes." So here is a gentle reminder if you or someone needs a top up.
Here it is for this week.
This task goes for anyone who has power or influence over people at work.
Self-awareness
If you're self-aware, you always know how you feel. As a result you know how you’re emotions, and your actions, and how they can affect the people around you. Being self-aware means having a clear picture of your strengths and weaknesses. And it means having humility.
So, what can you do to improve your self-awareness?
Keep a mental journal spend just a five minutes each day reviewing your thoughts about the day’s events, behaviour and attitude. Good chance, this will move you to a higher degree of self-awareness. Challenge do it repeatedly for 2 weeks 6 days week. Guaranteed harder than you think.
If you succeed do it for a month, then 3 months. By then you should start doing this habitually.
Slow down – ahhh what….. did you say? Yes, I know, I’m trying to as well. So much to do, so little time and so many opportunities. When you experience anger or other strong emotions, slow down to examine why. Remember, no matter what the situation, you can always choose how you react to it. Your emotions, your reactions, your leadership.
Mindfulness -
Mindfulness is a form of self-awareness training adapted from Buddhist mindfulness meditation. This is an area with a vast following because of its proven benefits. I try do it most mornings before I start my work. It has been described as a state of being in the present, accepting things for what they are. It was originally developed to assist with mood regulation and relapse prevention in depression and has been found to have considerable health benefits. I have been fortunate to be a mental health practitioner for over decade and personally meditated with Buddhist monks and nuns. This stuff is very powerful and gives greater insights into yourself, others and processes. You gain enormous clarity. Innovation compounds and problems are lessened.
With a good understanding of how we relate to others, we can adjust our behaviour so that we deal with issues positively. By understanding our weaknesses, we can learn how to manage them, and reach our goals despite them.
However, it's difficult to be objective when we think about ourselves. How others actually see us can be quite different from what we think they see. There are ways in which people can develop self-awareness on their own. However, coaching can be a better way of viewing your own actions and reactions objectively. I definitely give feedback on what I observe with my clients… firm but fair. After all, I aim to get superior performance from my clients.
Challenge:
Ask your team these questions:
I know when I first did this exercise, it was strange, on the flip side, it was incredibly liberating.
Nothing like a good dose of feedback to make a few personal changes.
By the way, my client, sacked his boss, that is....resigned that afternoon. He took the promotion.
Journey well,
Matt Cartwright
Inspiring People, Inspiring Business, Inspiring Results
© Copyright 2008 -12
I was with a long term client today. We had just finished a quick lunch. He was being head hunted by another firm which was what we were hoping would happen. His current company was sealing his potential.
I was thinking how fortunate he had been to be potentially moving to another more prestigious organization. He was keen to leave due to the CIO poor people skills.
A man got in the lift at the 25th floor. There I was confronted by a gruff man. It was the very person my client was talking about. One thing that struck me was the man had no idea what vibes he was giving off.
Whilst on his mobile phone, he was aggressive, using expletives and then went on criticizing his PA for his appointment scheduling. He finished the call, looked at my client (his colleague) and said, “God I work with some idiots in this place” enough said. Spooky…. I guess we had just spoken about him at lunch.
My observation was he had no idea what reactions he was giving off, nor did he seem to care.
So this is an easy blog today, because what I know about many leaders especially the ones that go and have 360 degree assessment, is that their drive, direction and self-belief is high, but their self-awareness is often low.
You guessed it. Many suffer from a lack of self-awareness. If this is you or you’re not sure, go start looking in the mirror more often. Go to the bathroom really look hard at yourself, and say “is the organistional leader that people aspire to, or even want to follow?”
Okay the narcissist or psychopath will always say “yes." So here is a gentle reminder if you or someone needs a top up.
Here it is for this week.
This task goes for anyone who has power or influence over people at work.
Self-awareness
If you're self-aware, you always know how you feel. As a result you know how you’re emotions, and your actions, and how they can affect the people around you. Being self-aware means having a clear picture of your strengths and weaknesses. And it means having humility.
So, what can you do to improve your self-awareness?
Keep a mental journal spend just a five minutes each day reviewing your thoughts about the day’s events, behaviour and attitude. Good chance, this will move you to a higher degree of self-awareness. Challenge do it repeatedly for 2 weeks 6 days week. Guaranteed harder than you think.
If you succeed do it for a month, then 3 months. By then you should start doing this habitually.
Slow down – ahhh what….. did you say? Yes, I know, I’m trying to as well. So much to do, so little time and so many opportunities. When you experience anger or other strong emotions, slow down to examine why. Remember, no matter what the situation, you can always choose how you react to it. Your emotions, your reactions, your leadership.
Mindfulness -
Mindfulness is a form of self-awareness training adapted from Buddhist mindfulness meditation. This is an area with a vast following because of its proven benefits. I try do it most mornings before I start my work. It has been described as a state of being in the present, accepting things for what they are. It was originally developed to assist with mood regulation and relapse prevention in depression and has been found to have considerable health benefits. I have been fortunate to be a mental health practitioner for over decade and personally meditated with Buddhist monks and nuns. This stuff is very powerful and gives greater insights into yourself, others and processes. You gain enormous clarity. Innovation compounds and problems are lessened.
With a good understanding of how we relate to others, we can adjust our behaviour so that we deal with issues positively. By understanding our weaknesses, we can learn how to manage them, and reach our goals despite them.
However, it's difficult to be objective when we think about ourselves. How others actually see us can be quite different from what we think they see. There are ways in which people can develop self-awareness on their own. However, coaching can be a better way of viewing your own actions and reactions objectively. I definitely give feedback on what I observe with my clients… firm but fair. After all, I aim to get superior performance from my clients.
Challenge:
Ask your team these questions:
- How is my leadership/management style getting people onboard with their work?
- How is my leadership/management style getting people offside?
- What do I need to change about myself?
I know when I first did this exercise, it was strange, on the flip side, it was incredibly liberating.
Nothing like a good dose of feedback to make a few personal changes.
By the way, my client, sacked his boss, that is....resigned that afternoon. He took the promotion.
Journey well,
Matt Cartwright
Inspiring People, Inspiring Business, Inspiring Results
© Copyright 2008 -12
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